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YC&AC, Sun 9th December. God appeared to me outside the Breezeway Bar on Sunday afternoon.
"4-1. Good win, Skip" "Thanks G. They weren't up to much though were they?" "Suppose not. I must have put H Utd on earth for a purpose, but jiggered if I can recall what it was" "Whatchuwant anyway? I'm off to try and find the Ricky Hatton fight on TV" "Don't bother, hes going down in the 10th" "Yeah right and Middlesboro will beat Arsenal" "i hadn't decided yet, but OK, if it makes you happy. Look, I hate to spring this on you but you need to prove your worthiness to me; bit of a test and all that. Successful; eternal glory etc etc but fail and its plague, pestilence, everlasting damnation. the whole 9 yards" "'kin hell G. I've been skipper of ycac for 3 years. what more do you want from me?" "I know I know...." "....and then you sent me Joe" "Yeah, that was offside. Sorry, I'd had a couple. Look, tell you what. The test has to be impossible, that's part of the deal, but I'll let you choose 1 from 3. A fighting chance?" "OK,OK, give me the 3 then...." "1....explain the rules of cricket to the 1st Japanese salariman you find on a Yamanote Line train at 11.30pm next Friday night. 2.....Get Al Queda up to the Hobgoblin next Thursday lunch for a coupla cold ones with the Pope and The Dalai Lama and that dim little man from Texas, whose name I forget, and hammer out some World Peace or 3..........explain to me, because i really dont get it, how Round 1 of the Footy Japan Cup works..." " Jesus H....sorry....OK,OK... happen to have this Al Queda geezers e-mail address?".
Report by Steve Taw
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